Goodbyes
“Your hand will always guide me. Your love will always find me. There’s joy in being right where I belong. And if my feet should stumble, and if my heart should wander, You will be the light that leads me home. The best is yet to come.”
I have a difficult time with goodbyes
Goodbyes are hard.
There is excitement towards finishing what you were called to do for a season and joy in knowing you will soon reunite with friends and family. However, there is also sadness and mourning over what you’re leaving behind.
I struggled with naming my last blog from Cambodia. My other posts had a naming pattern. A word that described something from my time here paired with a restaurant or food title that started with the same letter.
When it came to naming this post, I wrestled with different titles — Goodbyes and Grabai, Goodbyes and Guava, Goodbyes and Greek Food, or Goodbyes and Gelato. All good options, but none fit the final story I was trying to tell.
The only fitting title was simply, Goodbyes.
The only fitting title was simply, Goodbyes. Sunrise at Angkor Wat
I have a difficult time with goodbyes. Throughout college, I struggled building community and getting close to others. I knew it was all temporary. That I would live there for four years and then move on, moving on would be easier if I didn’t get too close or attached.
Luckily, not everything was temporary, and I do have friends that have lasted beyond those four years.
However, after graduation, I regretted not going deeper into friendships, my church community and more. Therefore, although everything for next year would be temporary, I decided to dive into each community anyways.
The result was deeper friendships, more meaningful interactions, greater spiritual growth, new experiences and contentment in each circumstance.
I still knew in a few months I would say goodbye to these communities I had grown to love. However, I discovered I needed to dive into these communities anyways for these experiences to matter.
It made saying goodbye that much harder, but with technology today, do we ever really say goodbye?
If I could talk to my dog over the phone that would be great!
Little did I know a year ago all of these short-term experiences and tough goodbyes would prepare my heart for my departure from Cambodia.
The thought of saying goodbye to the kids, my friends here, the Bobbs and Siem Reap breaks my heart.
I truly believe that God could bring me back here in the future, but for now, I do not know when I will be back.
From the beginning, I knew three months would go by fast, but I also knew I couldn’t treat this like I was just here for three months. My time here was short, but I still needed to dive in.
I built the relationships, did the things and worked hard to give what I had to the ministry. When I was tired or unfocused, I prayed for God to give me the strength to carry on. I did not want to waste a moment.
“This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.”
Every day is a gift from God. Having people and experiences that are so incredible it hurts to say goodbye is a gift from God. We should always want to dive in wherever the Lord takes us. Because the truth is, even the things that seem long-term are temporary.
“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
We are not guaranteed tomorrow, so why shouldn’t we live each day to the fullest?
Netflix can help you escape, but it can’t build relationships. Facebook enables you to see what your friends are doing but can’t replace true interactions with others.
Whether you’re in school, working or retired, take the time to grow relationships in your community. Don’t waste a day because only God knows what tomorrow will bring.
The thought of saying goodbye to the kids, my friends here, the Bobbs and Siem Reap breaks my heart.
I am going home.
It won’t be the same because I am not the same. But I know the growth in my relationship with Jesus and meaningful interactions with others will carry me through whatever comes next.
His light will continue to guide me until He calls me home. The best is yet to come.
Goodbye, Cambodia.
